Over the Weekend

Between now and Saturday morning I need to prepare to share my current prayer practices. The practice of prayer waxes and wanes like the moon, there are times of great joy and beauty quite like a lunar eclipse. And there are times of dryness quite like this last summer here in Texas, it was HOT and so dry. Our grass was the color of straw or flax. Recent rains have given new life and vigor to us and to the local vegetation. Our trees wilted and yet didn’t die. As I looked at one tree that I really thought would come down in the freezes, a deep gratitude that it is still standing swept over me. If this tree fell it is likely the root system would damage the foundation of our home.

Over 1000 people attended the Healing the Whole Person retreat given by the John Paul II Healing Center at St William in Round Rock Thursday – Saturday. Friday was a Day of Equipping, (re) learning how to pray with others and listen for a Word from the Holy Spirit. What I really appreciated about the retreat is the focus on Scripture, Church Teaching, what God: Father, Son & Holy Spirit will do with our willingness and cooperation. Tears flowed at different moments of the weekend, in places I’m still pondering. Sr Miriam is a thoughtful speaker, I admire her use of humor to help convey essential points in the teaching. I appreciated the opportunity to pray with people for something specific (physical or emotional healing) and that the person be open to what God would like to do in their body, mind and heart (soul). This weekend affirmed several things for me
healing is a journey
sometimes it’s a one time event
sometimes it’s more than we know or understand
and sometimes healing comes when our time in our bodies is done

On Sunday (hang with me here as I take a little side trip) I finished reading the second book for spiritual director formation. The author offered teaching, shared stories and repeated this process two more times and then gave final teaching. It is in the stories of nine of her directees wherein the practical teaching happens and I am certain that each of us reading will get something different from the book, as evidenced by how both the author and her directees experienced Spiritual Direction in that time. The final story shared affirmed for me

It was not lost on me that I was reading in the book and experiencing on the retreat are interrelated. Many years ago on a journaling retreat I offered to make a quilt based on a drawing another retreatant did. The center of the drawing said, “Journaling a Journey of the Heart” and I ended up writing, “Journaling a Journey to the Heart.” As I reflected on the retreat with a friend she offered variations on this saying using the word/concept “healing.” Oh my heart expands.

There are times in life, in quilting, in spiritual direction, in learning, in practicing anything that we wonder what is going on, this is a mess and it doesn’t seem as though anything is happening. Have I started brooding rather than pondering? Have I missed something? Did I not expect enough from God? Did I expect too much? (These answer to both of those questions is a firm, no.) One of the things I’ve come to is practice, everything needs some kind of practice and often what happens in the practice is an “aha!” moment. Sometimes the Aha Moment comes when least expected, after putting the quilting room in time out for a few weeks, after stepping away from the machine or putting the book I’m reading in time out, giving me time to think, sleep, have a snack or in this case, change the laundry over. Be right back.

This morning as I listened to both Fr Mike and Bishop Barron’s (this one is a classic/older but oh so good) Sunday homily it dawned on me that while I didn’t go in with something specific for healing, something was afoot, a stirring in my being I had not yet made the connection, the soul stirring already at work in the depths of my being. That while there is some work on my part that I will, soon, actively participate in, there is a lot that’s already happened. And for that I am incredibly grateful.

The tears over the weekend were more than simply being moved by what was being said, to be clear there is nothing wrong with this. The tears were in response to so much and time away from the event to continue pondering, looking, rooting around, and considering offered me the opportunity to integrate what I’d heard into the space between my head and heart. There is more of that coming.

Also sometimes I speak in generalities because the story isn’t always mine to tell. I do want to share two experiences in prayer though because they speak to both my long term experience in prayer and listening (which sometimes kind of creeps people out) and how beautiful an experience can be. One of the people I had the opportunity to pray with seemed to be holding her breath, holding onto something. I could feel her body so tense, in a way I sometimes see quilting students. Breathe, I encouraged and after a few moments, “let the tears flow.” My own tears were flowing in this moment. She shared something with us that gave some insight and we (there were three of us in this moment) encouraged her in some specific ways. The second prayer experience, I am standing behind someone hands on her shoulders, praying. This was so cool. I had the overwhelming urge to kiss the top of her head, and a deep sense of something else. She told me later the kiss on the top of the head would be fine. It was sweet I must say. The Holy Spirit is sometimes hilarious. On another day I’ll share more of the why of this.

The JP II Healing Center Healing the Whole Person retreat is so worth the going, the digging in, the listening, and will somehow add to the overall work later in Spiritual Direction. There is more pondering to do.

The only way is through.

God bless,

Teri