This vid showed up in my fb newsfeed and later in the day was shared with me privately because she knew I’d like it. Psalm 53 is a Psalm of lamentation –
from the dictionary: an expression of sorrow, mourning, or regret :an act or instance of lamenting
- a song of lamentation
From the time I was about six the Psalms became part of my prayer time. In listening to the video this is the first time I’ve heard the sorrow, the mourning, the regret. It is so incredibly beautiful. Just as hearing, and praying certain Psalms in choir where there is a verse, and a response from different parts of the congregation praying the Psalm.
The sharing led to a conversation of a mutual love for the Psalms, and naming some of our faves. The twenty-third holds a special place in my heart as it was recited graveside at my Grandpa’s funeral in 1976. My friend shared she liked Psalm 91 (a prayer/reminder of God’s protection), Psalm 100 (make a joyful noise), and Psalm 23 (God’s love and mercy). Psalm 139 (we are fearfully and wonderfully made), Psalm 23 and any Psalm that asks God to smite my enemies. Well, not really, but when I’m angry I can pray these, experiencing a kinship with a whole lotta people who are hurt, angry, and confused. I really don’t want God to smite them, I really want God to soften my heart, to be understanding that there might be something going on in their lives that is causing them (or has caused) deep hurt, and pain.
For a long time I prayed at least Morning Prayer in the Liturgy of the Hours. There’s an app for that too. I stopped at some point as I struggled with God, Faith, and worship. It hurt deeply. The longer the struggle went on. Oh. The harder it’s was to do the work – to quilt, to write, to think about Faith, to embrace that fact that this creative outlet that once deeply connected me to God, seemed false, dry, and painful. It is no wonder that my favorite priest said that I’m thirsty, and in turn last night I said this to my friend.
At some point my Faith in God returned, and like the Psalm there is still some kind of mourning, deep sorrow. And there’s deep joy. Faith is a paradox. The inability to create led to some changes that are hard to take, and yet, there is a freedom in these changes. There is freedom in realizing that there is still room to grow, quilt, write, and create. There is freedom in knowing that what led to the inability to create, and therefore the changes while painful are good for this quilter. They are stripping away some inflated, unrealistic sense of my self, and my place in the quilting world.
And so as these things strip away I’m smiling more, enjoying this sense of freedom. “he restores my soul. He guides me along right paths.” – Psalm 23.
The Psalms oh the richness and beauty, the depth and comfort. Quilting the richness and beauty, the depth and comfort. Going quilting.