Friendship is something I take seriously. Let me rephrase that: friendship means a lot to me. I know a lot of people but few are friends. I’ll spend time with a lot of people, but there are few I’d call and talk for hours on the phone with or invite to and make plans to go have lunch with. I do like people. Seriously, I do, it’s just that I don’t want to spend the weekend at a Quilt Show with them. Friendship, to me, is something of a baring of the soul, an honesty, a level of comfort that is different from acquaintances. Acquaintances are people I know and will chat with, spend some time with but eh, if I don’t I’m okay. And yes it is personal, deeply personal. But it truly has everything to do with me.
For a long period of time I’ve wanted to have that “I can be friends with anyone and everyone” way of being. I wanted it enough that it led to great stress personally as I’d be too open with people. It took a long time to discern that 1) some people just don’t care, it’s okay though and 2) that some people will take what you share or do and twist it in such a way that it becomes harmful or momentarily painful and 3) some people just don’t wanna hear it. In each situation it’s important to discern what someone needs to know. And not everyone needs to know everything and not everyone will be a friend.
I’ve come around to “I’ll be friendly with just about everyone, but friendship is reserved for some seriously special people”. This suits me, it’s the way God made me, and a lot of other people. And yes, I did say “just about everyone” sometimes it friendliness and friendship don’t quiet work. I’m okay with that. Acknowledging that this is how God made me is such a freeing thing.
Not all styles of fabric, thread and quilting are for me either. I just spent the better part of the last few years slowly and intentionally destashing. It’s not been an easy process as I’ve had to be very honest with myself about what fabric I’ll use, won’t use, will be best suited to something else or is something I can pass on to my students in class kits. I’m following this up with a post on what will be coming in to my stash. The beauty of cleaning things out is that I’m down to what I love and what I’ll use. It’s been kind of an examination of conscience and a good one at that. At least I think so. And before you ask, no I’m not destashing friends and people I know.
I just think it’s important every once in a while to reflect on things like friendship and fabric and thread and enjoy all of the gift that they are.
3 thoughts on “Friends are just the best!”
I’ve learned a lot of lessons about friendship in the recent years, and in fact am still learning. There are few people who are willing and able to BE true friends (and yes they need both willingness and ability). And few with whom I may “click” and really want to be friends with. The overlapping set is exceedingly small. But I am becoming more comfortable with what I know about myself and others. I’m still capable of being disappointed but less likely to take it personally when something I thought was a friendship doesn’t work out. Sounds like you’ve already come to that point. Good for you.
I’m getting there Melanie. I’m a little slow learning sometimes. Of course we’re still capable of being disappointed as we’d like to trust and have that deep friendship with a particular person. That disappointment is simply part of being human.
My best friend once told me you will be lucky if there are 10 people who you can really count as friends. But friends and acquaintances are the best. And learning to be friendly with everyone.