Wonder and Awe

Last night as my Sweetie and I drove home from the parish mission, oh this had to be so good. Oh I kind of remember now. The memory thing was staring me right in the face, Wonder and Awe. I didn’t know that in Confirmation that the Bishop prays for Wonder and Awe as one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit rather than the word Fear. Fear of the Lord is good, the original language leans more toward Wonder and Awe and this my friends is an invitation to appreciation of something deep and good and holy, a way of looking at God, the Mystery of Creation, the Mystery of the Trinity and oh the mystery of humanity in a holy way. As I sit here in my sewing room contemplating quilting in preparation for tomorrow and doing paperwork, the thought process took over and reminded me that I said I’d share the Dear John Letter.

Being needy is as important as being needed. They both have function in building community. May you experience the deep grace in fulfilling another person’s need to be needed.

Teri Lucas in response to a friend

Surprise, it is what I experience every year at this point in Lent, either the surprise of making it this far, or the surprise that we’re already here. This year is a mixture of both. I’ll be back to this shortly, enjoy the Dear John letter:

Dear John
Permit me, dear friend, Father, to offer my appreciation for your writing, for your ability to bring to light the life of Jesus in a way that offers us the opportunity to see our Lord in His Divinity and His humanity and to become a disciple. How’s that for a long sentence.
In our current language hearing the nuance of the conversation with Jesus and Peter is challenge. It is a nuanced conversation – Jesus asking if Peter’s love is agape – that self-sacrificial love – and Peter answering it is filial love. I deeply appreciate this. It preserves the passionate sense of Peter while showing his maturing through the desert of Passion/Holy week. It shows, I think, that our love for the Lord, for our Rabbi, can grow, mature, develop into that agape love. It grows through the trials of life, through suffering, it grows through the freely given gift of self, love grows through going to the Cross or like you dear Father, living a life caring for those who are placed in your care. Caring for Jesus’ mom, caring for the new disciples of Jesus, nurturing them in faith, guiding them through, correcting each of us as necessary.
Back to Peter – it is fascinating that it is today – though I’ve read this even earlier this week – that I noticed new things, nuances – and the final one in “follow me!”
Feed my lambs
Tend my Sheep
Feed my Sheep
Follow me
Just when it seems the conversation is over, there’s more. Its a lot more. For some of us there is that “but wait! there’s more”
My dear Father help me, pray for me to respond well to what our Lord has in mind for me, Beloved Disciple, to love Jesus steadily and with hope and patience. I am one who desires to love our Lord, our Rabbi deeply, knowing I am LOVED completely and yet struggles with the BEING LOVED part of all of this.
Beloved Disciple your martyrdom is one of BEING LOVED by our Lord and entrusted with staying and being Present to, to writing the story of LOVE itself. Guide me dear Father, Rabbi as I learn to be the Disciple Whom Jesus loves.

In the Lectionary for any given year in our cycle we read from the book of John at certain times of any given year including the end of the Liturgical year, into Advent, through Lent. I do appreciate the way that the readings in the Spiritual Exercises are lining up with both the season of the year and this being in a place of discerning some things.

To add a bit of humor to this day, while finishing up a Zoom call a little while ago I heard scampering overhead. Can anyone say “Squirrel!” I went outside and walked the perimeter of the house to make sure that along the roofline, as best I can see, that there are no places where said furry, cute, rodent might actually be in the attic space. In the walking around a June bug may have met its demise.

One of the things I’ve noticed recently that there are many professions of faith in the Gospels. John 11 has one that I’ve heard and heard and heard and missed. Martha’s profession of faith is awe inspiring. Part of me wonders how I missed it. Part of me wonders how I missed this, particularly in light of the parts of the relationship that Jesus has with Mary, Martha and Lazarus, and how in her need Jesus tells her he sees her. Oh how the Christian story shifts when we read this not only as Lazarus rising from the dead – which is Bleeping Amazing – and in this is this hidden gem of Martha’s profession of faith.

These gem, like the trees above hidden until the stitching brings them up permitting the eye to see them, to perceive them

And with that my dear friends I need to finish preparing for tomorrow. May our Lord reveal himself to you.

God bless and Happy Stitching,

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