Good morning friends, it’s been a while. Whew. My head is overfull of ideas and sometimes that makes it hard to get anything done. Seriously. I’d like to share with you an interview with Quilter on Fire. Brandy is a wonderful interviewer.
I’m a quilter. Quilting, creativity is as much a part of my being that it’s much akin to breathing. I’m a quilter who, when she gets really stressed can’t quilt or do the quilts that live in my head. Some of my thinking on/off over the last few years, for a variety of reasons has focused on giving up quilting, wondering if somewhere along the way that this quilting has become something of an idol in my life. Am I placing my quilting life before God? Am I honoring Him in my work. Am I doing the work He is calling me to do. This is in some ways good thinking in that I’m working towards ordering, by God’s Grace and in His Mercy, my life towards Him. This is disordered thinking in some ways as quilting is the way in which I exercise and enter into the Creative, the One who Called me into being. I’ve shared with friends that I doodle a lot whether on paper or with my fingers “stitching” out quilting motifs. This doodling both helps me think things through and helps me focus on whatever I’m listening to. It’s a beautiful gift. I’m not going to give up quilting, this gift from God, as my Sweetie said to me I would die – probably not a physical death – but I wouldn’t be living fully present here and now where I’m called to be in life.
learning to live with reckless abandon
With a new friend I’m reading through the Introduction to the Devout Life. While we were talking about this book we both mentioned that we’d started at some point and had to stop first because of the language, but more because we needed someone to talk with about this. St. Francis de Sales writes for both the time he physically walked the earth and for now. I’m also reading a recently published book on Spiritual Direction which I can see being a timeless classic. Whatever chapter I was reading in the Introduction I experienced a moment of clarity understanding the guy Jesus talks to in Mark 10 about giving up all he possesses, giving it to the poor, and following Him. The guy lowered his head and walked away – sad – from that invitation. This guy was sad to give up his possessions because in a deep way they possessed him, things meant more to him than people, things meant more to him than Jesus – who he recognized as God. Things meant more to him than God. When looking at this a little further things and outward appearances meant more to him than God as he not only had a lot of things but he did all the right things. Jesus didn’t take his stuff from him, Jesus offered him the opportunity to rightly order all things toward God, the giver of all. Jesus offered him the opportunity to become the person he was created to be in surrendering these disordered attachments to Him.
I have entered Spiritual Direction as a process of discernment and to actively take notice of where God is working in my own life and heart. Not so much for what I need to give up, or take on, but more for how to rightly order my life towards God. I’ve experienced for a couple of years this desire to get back into Church ministry. I’m grateful for this desire and the opportunity presented itself in a really beautiful way. One of the things that I’ve begun to really fully, finally understand is “all things work together for good for those who love the Lord,” and therein in some freedom. I’m beginning to understand that not seeming to move forward, feeling stuck, feeling like I’m moving backward is not a bad place to be in. The longing of my heart right now is to be fully present to whatever moment I’m in. It is a recognition that I may not in this part of life ever fully understand the gift of some of my life experiences. I would like to explore why I so willingly and easily walked away from something I now see I was clearly called to.
As I say that i know that all things do work together for good. And now I’m going to go bake a cake and make some really tart lemon curd to help a friend celebrate her retirement tonight. Then there are some quilty things I need to accomplish. Before I go here’s another book related interview.
Happy quilting & God bless!