It’s time to go top up the coffee, be right back.
Okay that took a little longer than expected so thanks for your patience.
I thought I was going to share something witty and amazing about King David being a bit of a jerk of a dad and even still being remembered as a “man after God’s own heart” with the impression that those who we understand as Saints were once Sinners and possibly made some really terrible decisions, just like we do, here, now. But then Bishop Barron’s homily came up in my newsfeed somewhere so I’m sharing this with you.
Learning new things and/or deepening our understanding of things we learned when we were young is a good thing. Back in December I learned a little tidbit about sewing machine needles, and tension that shifted slightly how I’ll teach and present this information to students. One part is in keeping with what I’ve discussed with students all along, and one part is almost new to me information. This time I heard it. I experienced a deep reminder about the quilting community too, that there are a lot of ways to view, know, experience, work with our tools and the mechanics of quilt making. It was a good reminder that we all add to the depth of knowledge and understanding, and more to the point that there’s always something good to learn, that I don’t have it all.
The Readings for the Thirteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time began with a reading from the book of Wisdom that starts with, “God did not make death,” and included Psalm 30, a word from St. Paul in 2 Cor 8 and then moves onto the Gospel of Mark chapter 5 which intertwines two miracles. The first is that of the woman with the Hemorrhage who is restored to health and restored to a life in the community; the second is of Jarius’ daughter being raised from the dead. Just as I needed to make new connections with the power tools and hardware I work with on a day to day basis I also need to make new connections with the power tools and hardware associated with my faith, which then allow, permit, free me to do the work of an artist I’m intended to do.
I’m a free-motion machine quilter. I pull in a whole bunch of threads, do a whole lot of stitching, then show you the work
As a writer Mark tels the story of the raising, bringing back to life of Jarius’ daughter and the healing of the woman with the hemorrhage well. Jesus notices, sees, experiences the beating heart of the woman as she just touches his garment. It occurs to me now that her faith is as fruitful as a mustard seed. She gets something that I often forget, and I have something she doesn’t have. I have her story, deeply intertwined with the little girls story and I get to see Jesus in the details, that the delay in getting to the little girl is an opportunity to for all involved to Trust God, to Trust Jesus, that His timing isn’t always our timing, and further that he is concerned for meeting our needs.What don’t I have? Her deep faith that Jesus will heal her.
Back in 2018 when I as deep in the throes of, “my God! my God! why have you abandoned me?!” when I was crying out once again from the depth of my being, not really being able to feel/see/experience Our Lord, feeling so much less than, wondering where and how and why, and was I worthy – and not for the first time in my life – I am not entirely sure I was trusting God, but I am certain that God loves me. Going through that experience again did leave me wondering for a while. This morning as I’ve stared at this screen knowing that I *need* to write and wondering where the words would come from a memory keeps popping up that is reminding me that just like the story of this woman and the little girl, God’s timing isn’t my own, and – wait for it – I have no control over the actions of other people while I am sometimes deeply affected by those actions. This is an opportunity to grow in Trust of God, to strip away the doubt and fear that stem from wounds not yet healed. It is no wonder that sometimes the situations and memories that take over my thoughts are ones where I deeply want to change how I handled something that wasn’t in my control in the first place. Many have said and experienced through the ages that control is an illusion, and I suspect it is an idol, a false God one that reflects back to me what I wish to see: order, strength and well done work.
While in the middle of all of this and the stuff that happened next a friend kept saying I can’t wait to see what God is going to do for you. And like the little girl he raises from the dead just a little bit later this is something beautiful, in His time. The beauty of this moment has depth of it’s own. The difference is now I see that this depth is showing me something deeper in my Sweetie’s Faith.
I love it so so much when there’s a delay in the writing, I started this post Sunday, here it is Wednesday morning. Last night after getting home from a really good conversation with a friend. We started meeting for coffee/lunch to talk more about the book we were reading and continued with a new book that will take us some time to work through. Part of our conversation is sinking in really deeply this morning. I’ll explore this some on the other blog as it is in some ways much more quilting related, though the personal/spiritual implications are right there.
Back to the woman who was healed by touching Jesus garment for a moment. Oddly enough you may know that I love pulling threads together and this one is a delightful, playful quilt. Someone posted on the bird social media platform that Jesus, who clearly knew who touched him, asked the question for some specific purpose, relating it going to Confession. I can see that. However between this post, talking with my friend last night, and the desire on my part to dig deeper into community life there is a desire on Jesus’ part to be in relationship with this woman. Healing her is all well in good, He recognizes and speaks of her deep Faith and yet Jesus wants more. He longs to hear her voice, to see her face, to not only have her touch His garment, but also her hands and face. Even with Jarius’ family Jesus wants and offers more. Jarius clearly knows that Jesus will heal his daughter, that’s not in question, Jesus further offers Jarius and his family the opportunity to Trust him ever more deeply.
The wait and struggle on this post was worth it. These are both great reminders of my relationship with the Lord. They are good reminders that Jesus longs to have an intimate relationship with him.
We’re expecting thunderstorms here in Central TX today so I’m concentrating on a couple of other things. The long arm is unplugged. I’m going to re-record some video for a class I’m working on and hopefully work on one more project that I need to finish.