Who art in Heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name
Thy Kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily Bread
And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us
Lead us not into temptation but Deliver us from evil.
I am a struggler in Faith and in Prayer, and in life.
Come Holy Spirit, Fill the hearts of the faithful, and kindle in them the fire of your Love. Pour forth your Spirit and we shall be created, and you shall renew the face of the earth.
I think I’m in need of a Shamrock Shake.
I get distracted by shiny things, random thoughts. And yes I do know that I can offer those to the Lord. Bring them to him. Examine why I’m distracted in that moment. What do I need to bring to him that is taking over my thoughts. Offer the distress of my soul yearning to enter deeply into conversation with God.
Sometimes the prayer is, “help” or “HELP!!!” or “help them Lord” or “guide my heart” or “may I have your wisdom please.”
My twenties were a delightful time in prayer. Every morning I’d wake up, read Scripture for a bit and reflect on the reading by writing in my journal. This carried over into my thirties in some way. In each decade there were times when the practice went by the wayside as the life struggles popped up, as prayers seemingly went unanswered – more to the point it was a, “no” I did not want to receive. And there was a time when some big struggles happened where I didn’t know how to pray. After all this cool prayer for all that time I just didn’t know how. Yep. And there was the time I cried out, “Why God?!!!” and oddly enough it wasn’t during the biggest struggle.
I’m not so much struggling with prayer, it kind of happens on/off during the day when people come to mind I ask our Father to comfort them in that moment. Sometimes I’ll respond to those thinkings with a text message or phone call.
What I am struggling, and in some ways beating myself up over is, choosing the noise of the day (internet, email, music, yada, yada) before choosing to spend time with our Lord. Over the last while, not quite sure how long, the Holy Spirit shows up in really incredible ways particularly when I pray, “give me wisdom please.” What is somewhat befuddling is that I love putting pen to paper and pouring out my heart and then choose to read books electronically.
Right now I’m on my e-reader/phone I have:
Little Sins Man a Lot and Strange Gods both by Elizabeth Scalia
The Complete Works of Saint Teresa of Avila
The Way of the Pilgram
Introduction to the Devout Life Saint Francis de Sales
Falling Home by Hallie Lord
Your Blue Flame by Jen Fulwiler
that I’m actively reading. It’s like a really good wine tasting. Sip, suck in air, swish around the mouth, and swallow getting the flavors and distinctness and beauty of each. Though never completing any glass.
In hard copy are a couple of other books including the one I’m working through with the Book Study.
This is kind of like the collection of quilts I’m working through to get them done. Some are old enough to have children of their own by now. Finishing them wasn’t a priority but keeping them for such a time as this was the right thing to do. It is a conversation with either myself as a reminder of the learning process, or it’s a conversation with old friends, some of whom have dropped off the face of the earth. These are moments when I can pray for them, for whatever their needs are right now. I can spiritually offer a moment of thanksgiving for the relationship in that moment.
Prayer is an acknowledgement of our Transcendant God, our utter dependence on him and the opportunity to open up and receive His Love in a profound way, to acknowledge that we are loved beyond all comprehension, that we have work to do and that this work is sometimes hard slog, and sometimes filled with joy, such deep and glorious joy. Jesus tells us to pray for those who are our enemies and to bless those who persecute. Pray for them that we might have life, that we might cling onto the grace to forgive. Pray for them. Prayer, like quilting is simple and complicated. Sometimes is shallow in a priming the pump kind of way and sometimes it’s like the drive thru at our fave fast food place, quick cheap and easy and sometimes it’s wildly complex and deep.
In the Name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.