Have you ever lost something in your sewing room/studio when you’d just put it down? I designed a paper pieced quilt that needs to be shipped soon. After selecting fabrics, I cut the pattern apart, (without making a master) and started piecing the flying geese. The attempt at keeping the in order was thwarted by the fabric flying about on the table. As I got close to finishing up the geese I realized of the geese went missing, starting the great hunt sending the fabric flying in different directions. When I was unable to locate it I carefully re-positioned the rest of pieces and made a new one.
Words. I’ve lost words. I can assure you that finding the words, listening for them, hearing them, living them is not always easy. When the words seem elusive I’ve learned to sit back and live in the quiet. This sitting back isn’t easy, for while I seem a patient person, deep down I’m not. There are moments when my face reveals the eye roll going on in the inside. Where the whispers in my ear cause the words coming out of my mouth to be sharper than intended. When the generally funny snarkiness twinges with a bit of meanness. Oh then I know I need the silence, and the quiet to reflect on what’s going on, and lean into how to deal with it. Pleading with the words to return before listening to the quiet is an exercise in futility. But plead I do like a small child yearning for the immediate satisfaction of getting that chocolate chip cookie they so desperately need. I need words.
I found some in the form of postcards from a friend while doing a bit of a tidy up in our living room. These words are reminders from the Word in Psalm 86:5, Zephaniah 3:17, Romans 5:5, John 14:6.
We don’t need new teaching, we need reminders.
There was a period of time a couple of years ago where life felt rather shrouded, dark, and pretty dang awful. The postcards from the friend were moments of encouragement. On each card is a verse of scripture that , adding a drop of oil to fuel the lamp in the darkness. Truth is the lamp didn’t really need the oil as much as I needed to trim the wick with the nudges to open my eyes and see the light that is already there. God never abandons us, God always loves us, God always wants the best for us. I can assure you that my friend was prompted by the Holy Spirit to send these words of encouragement, and I’m glad she responded.
Just before I started the machine quilting I tidied up the table. I don’t know if you’ve stitched something to the back of your quilt because it was on the table and just stuck to the back of the quilt. Because this is going to a show I thought it prudent to tidy the table first. So the tidying begins and in the process I found the missing piece that I’d reconstructed. While the finding was too late, it was right on time for a bit of reflection. Sometimes the looking, and changing direction are part of the process.
When the postcards with the messages were arriving in the mail with the messages of encouragement I thought I was lost. I’m not entirely certain of what I needed in that time other than a childlike crying out to the one who understands me best, a time to reconnect with God and Faith. Just like quilting it’s a one-step-at-a-time journey. This left me open to learning new things both about my faith, and about quilting. Right now I’m teaching myself how to use rulers. Yep I could take a class and will probably do so online after the new year.
While things are still a bit weird in life there is a deep sense of joy and completion. I cannot explain this nor do I desire to do so. This isn’t so much of a reflection on 2019 as it is an expression of lost and foundness, of an openness to the something more both in faith and quilting that God is calling.
In about 30 minutes, as I write this, we will turn the calendar page from 2019 to 2020. Just like every day, every moment, this holds within the turning the promise of living life with all of the things that happen. And this year ends and the new year begins with two words, “Trust Me” what I’ve been hearing in prayer for months. “Trust Me” live in my love, it’s enough for you. Trust Me, and so I’ll endeavor to do so.