In today’s post I’m sharing something very personal that involves other people so there are details intentionally left out. Sometime over the the last two years I experienced the healing of a long time repetitive sin.
During the time I struggled with this I prayed, confessed, prayed more. Several years back I started looking at this to see if there something was triggering this as a way of preventing this sin. A couple of things came to mind so I stopped those. Okay, so I know. I mentioned this to my Sweetie for his prayerful support and some direction.
I’m driving a lot for work and so I have a lot of time to think, and pray. Thinking can be a bit hazardous as, many do, there is a bent toward negative thinking. When I start praying I get distracted thinking, you know how this goes, right? Prayer like quilting takes daily practice and I prefer writing as it helps me focus. Over the last few days it occurred to me that I have not actively participated in that particular sin for quite a while. Well that caught my attention in a good way. Again I’m a bit curious so I started looking back to see what changed.
While praying about this one thing came to mind, the moment I chose to forgive someone.
Forgiving didn’t come easy. I seem to fight God a lot. An immediate sense of peace enveloped the moment I forgave the person. There are moments when I have to remind myself that forgiveness, that grace was extended. Realizing that this healing took place is a moment of great joy. Seriously, knowing something that I struggled with for so very long is gone is, difficult to put into words. I’m so very grateful for this gift I can’t even tell you.
The full realization of the healing came while my Sweetie and I were doing some things in the house. He pulled the screens down, vacuuming them to get the crap off. My sweetie has a long ingrained habit of cleaning the windows of our car when we stop for fuel, and he cleans the inside frequently as well. This allows us to see better when we’re driving, which protects us, and others as we’re not fighting night glare and can see others better. Going to confession is similar to cleaning the windows and the screens we can see better spiritually. This realization took time. The right time.
Like faith, learning our art of quilting took a lot of time, it’s practice. There are realizations over time. Then one day you realize you’re in a different place with the confidence gained from experience and tried by the test of doing something over and over again. Practice.
In a little while there will be a follow up to this post. Please know that I’m praying for you my friends.