Breathing.
Inhaling.
Exhaling.
Seeking.
Finding.
Drinking.
Refreshing.
Thinking.
Wondering.
Seeking.
Listening.
Hearing.
Wandering.
Reminder.
Calling.
Knowing.
Feeling.
Wondering.
Pondering.
Praying.
Seeking.
Asking.
Wanting.
Needing.
Thanking.
Thanking.
Thanking.
Over the last week or so while praying I hear the word “write”, having no clear direction for where to go, what to write. This morning pen in hand I said, Okay and the words below flowed. I learned a couple of things in the writing: I went to the desert place on my own, and with intention; I found the Well-Spring of life, and am drinking from the spring. There is more work to do in the quilting and in myself, knowing quilting is an essential part of my being, this is no surprise.
From my journal: I keep hearing “write”. I am uncertain of the words, the subject, the why.
This book (quilt related) has taken far longer than i ever intended. The stuff of life bogged be in like too much winter snow falling quickly, piling high. This book, these words, unexpectedly filling a longing in my heart, a need, an unknown, yet sought after desire.
As I sit before the Blessed Sacrament I begin to see that the desert was chosen by me, to peel away the layers, to reflect on those moments, to offer my self the opportunity to hear the Lord once more in my heart. This desert showing me the thirst, where the Well is, how to get there. Drink I must. To drink requires bending low, becoming vulnerable. And therein my soul knowing thirst, seeking an opportunity to drink deeply. In my imagination the water bubbles up from the surface of the sandy desert ground. Sparkling, life giving, clear, pure.
The desert the place of peace, should my heart and soul consent to hearing, listening, learning. Giving the Will, pride-filled seeking those things that do not belong in her coeur permission to dwell in peace. O! Will say, “Yes!” Give permission, live in peace, bend low, drink deeply, seek mercy.
Let the desert place fill you with the quiet calm.
Drink slowly, be refreshed, give thanks.
Drink deeply. Enjoy.
O! quiet of the desert fill my soul with your beauty.
The quilt-maker in me fears the desert, with its quiet and its demand to think, to let go of all that fills the space with loudness, decibels known, brightness of color, expanses wide open filled with seemingly little to inspire.
The fear overwhelms telling me to stand tall, filled with pride shouting:
“LOOK AT ME!”
“SEE ME”
“USE ME!”
“Pick me.”
In the desert there is no place to hide, so pride fills the space of the mind with thoughts crying out for shelter, the shelter of security. Making the desert, that chosen place, feel like a place of loneliness, barrenness, shameful. The desert is not a place of loneliness – God is there waiting for us; it is alive; and beautiful, there is no shame there. Only honesty, integrity openness, beauty, grace. I go, to listen, hear, seek, know, honesty, compassion, to dwell in the garden alone. It is a place to let go of the overwhelming fear, and shameful pride.
I go to the desert to drink deeply of God’s LOVE.
Now I go to quilt, enjoying the simplicity of creating a pattern, adding color, choosing words.
Prayer: Thank you, gracious God, for the life-giving desert. Thank you for the beauty found there in the giving up, laying down, and the vulnerability. Thank you for the cool, sparkling water refreshing the soul, renewing the creative spirit, and guiding our hearts closer to you.
God bless,
Teri
A Quilter's Heart 