I started this post during the Triduum (Holy Thursday, Good Friday, Holy Saturday), listening to Gregorian Chant while reflecting on the Passion of Jesus. Yeah I’m so not that holy – simply in need of a change of norm. It all started with this: beautiful reflection on the love of Jesus. There is something so deep here that this will be part of Lenten reading going forward. Well then this: When God Gives you a Leveler, Learn How to use it came through my Twitter Feed. Read this three times and have plans to spend some more time with it.
Sometimes it’s hard to admit, to own that there are spiritual/faith struggles. It’s true. These struggles have been HARD, overwhelming, downright painful, some of this is self-induced. Like with my quilts, I am my own worst critic – normal, right?! When sharing some of this with a friend who prays with/for me she reminded me not to hold onto that ickiness. *This is a loose translation.* In other words don’t Live there, which is what I’ve been doing. Faith-wise, and quilt-wise I know better than to point out and hold onto the icky stuff, point out the flaws in myself and in my work. I tell others not to do these things because the TRUTH is so different. So Very Different.
So reading the reflection on Jesus love was absolutely essential to living the Triduum, living Faith, and living as a quilter/teacher. I need/ed the reminder of how absolutely passionate is the Father’s Love for his Creation. Yeah He loves us that much.
Over the years I’ve learned how to quilt, learned to teach, learned to write a bit better, these are part of my tool set given me to use. Teaching quilters how to use their tools: machine, tension, thread, needles, fabric, batting, rulers, rotary cutters means that I’m continuing to learn, hone the tools given by God, to me, for you. The quilts I make, classes I teach, words I write are akin to spiritual/corporal works – my response to God’s love, just as washing the dishes, making dinner, and so many other things are a response to my Sweetie’s love for me. While this seems a faulty comparison, and in many ways it is, because it implies a give and take, this for that, tit for tat relationship – but it’s not. Not even close. God offers his love, not even expecting any kind of love in return. This is home, the place to dwell, to live, to become, to grow, be.
When I’m not quilting in some way I can assure you I’m freaking miserable.
There are components of the work I’m not fond of: paperwork (I don’t mind doing it for others; I hate doing it for myself); binding by hand (feel free to judge me, it’s not going to change the dislike). When I really got started the same conversation happened…why oh why do I work myself up into a tizz. Sheesh. Part of the frustration is that my ‘tool box’ for the paperwork that I need to do for my work isn’t complete but I have enough to get a really good start on what I need to do, someone else can handle the rest (at least this time.)
It’s clear this is a time of change in the quilting and in how I drive myself into a tizz.
The need for a day job still exists and I seek your prayers for this endeavor.
May this Eastertide bring you the greatest peace, and deepest sense of LOVE.