I have a bad habit of putting pens in my pocket taking them with me when I leave an office. It all started with the bic stic pen it’s clear, hexagonal barrel allowing me to see the ink working it’s way down, taking notes, doing homework, writing in my journals. Next up the round pens their white barrels, a little comfier after all. Well then pens changed to anything with a fine tip ended up in my pocket came from home their shiny clips holding the pens safely at hand. Oh then I discovered inexpensive fountain pens at the office supply store. Oh baby! What a pen. No one else in the office liked writing with them so they were mine! all mine! The pen thievery ended.
After “breaking” this habit by discovering fountain pens I became a Pin Thief. This was much more prevalent when working in quilt shops. I’d end up with about half a dozen pins near my shoulder, pointy side up of course, because that’s the safest way to carry pins around. It was no surprise when customers, and coworkers expressed concern and remind me that I had pins in my shirt. While I’d try and remember to take them all out before heading home the failure to do so often astounded me.
While these are humorous they prove a point: everyone has a little something.
*Hold on I’m going for a glass of red.*
I’m not a thief on a regular basis.
I can’t remember the last time a pen or a pin came home with me without some kind of transaction happening, it’s only fair, and just.
On and off over Lent, and Holy Week read about Judas’ role in Salvation History. It’s not an easy role, one we believe led him to suicide. Guilt. Betrayal. Hurt. Anguish. Love. Passion. A desire to do good, gone so, so wrong and yet, so right. It was his public act of betrayal that led to Good Friday, that led to Saturday – that looooong day of waiting…that led to Sunday – and H*lleluj*h! I can’t even begin to imagine the loneliness of Judas as he pulled away from our Lord, trying to find that one best moment to turn him over to the authorities. I can’t begin to imagine the anguish once it was done, with a brotherly, friendly kiss on the cheek. I can imagine the disappointment in the expectation of what the Savior, the Redeemer, the King would be about. I can see frustration in wanting this Jesus to do other things, to raise up an army and overthrow the current Rulers who are oppressing the Israelite’s…and in essence so many people.
As a quilter sometimes it’s super easy to allow mistakes to overwhelm everything, pointing them out, telling myself how bad they are, telling myself how bad I am because it isn’t “perfect”. Oh I could totally riff once again on mistakes, how they mess with our self-worth, our worthiness because the greater point this focus on this stuff robs us of great joy, of peace.
That’s where I’m a THIEF
Opportunities exist every single day to rob my self of peace. I’m good at taking those opportunities and maxing them out continuing the thievery. I listen to the negative thoughts running through my head plopping them into the heart of “accept this it’s true”. Fools gold, fake diamonds, faux pearls, empty promises, empty words, all of it. All. Of. It.
I can and do find great joy in doing the work, getting to quilt, writing – expanding the skill set, editing for friends – expanding and honing the skill set, making dinner, doing laundry, praying, reading, listening to the good.
And the thievery ends at the Cross. Tonight we celebrate the Mass of the Lord’s Supper where Jesus, giving us a clear example of servant-leadership, washes the feet of the disciples. I can’t even begin to imagine how Judas perceived this. Good Friday is a service, our Eucharistic Lord is removed from the tabernacle and the building of the Church becomes a tomb, it’s emptied of the Person who gives it, gives us Life. Oh Lord may I ever cling to you through these day.
In the quilting world: I’m going to continue to pointing out how well people are doing, and remind myself that I’m doing good work. I’m going to ask for your continued prayers for a couple of special intentions.
A couple of links that spoke to my heart
May we deeply experience the Resurrection and New Life in Christ.