This blog post feels a little scattered. We are creeping up on the change of the calendar year. I’m wondering where the days of this year disappeared. 2016 is one of those years that was decidedly not one of my faves. Not simply from the “I wish I’d done this differently” but from the “Where are you leading?” experience. One of the biggest highlights? At the end of September my sweetie and I celebrated 24 years of marriage. So while not one of my favorites as years go, it certainly holds one beautiful highlight. I can not imagine the last 24 years without him. It’s also half my life. As I write that I’m smiling. I love this guy with all of me we’ve loved each other deeply, annoyed the daylights out of each other, and still hold each others hand walking down the street. And he’s the one who said to me, when in a moment of grand doubt and insecurity, ugly crying and all, “if you quit quilting you’d die.” Yep. I want to hold hands with him in this life for as long as possible. Be still my heart.
Did you know that Advent is a time of waiting? While the rest of the world is celebrating Christmas for weeks already, we are waiting. Our creche is up, but the baby Jesus is not yet in the manger. No lights adorn the windows of our home. There is no tree, or any other kind of decoration up. My sweetie will put up the lights on Christmas Eve when the Feast of Christmas begins.
The Third Sunday of Advent is different. We’re getting moment by moment to the great feast of Christmas, our Lord is going to be born in a stable, poor, in need, and must flee to another country for his life. The readings today begin with a deep sense of renewal and hope. Renewal and Hope. This has me thinking a lot about so many things. What sort of renewal? What will this look like? How will I respond to the renewal? Where will it lead? Advent is reminding me to wait with joyful hope. Hope in Jesus, hope in the Messiah. Hope in His Saving Grace. Hope in Life eternal with him, the Father and the Spirit, and those who have gone before marked with the sign of faith.
Taking time to breathe is always a good. So please bear with as I share two things.
Over the last few weeks I am in once sense experiencing a renewal in quilting. I have no idea where this is going. I can feel myself breathing deeply the great joy of quilting. Something feels different about the quilting and right now there are no adequate words to express what that means. Truth. I don’t know where I’m going however I am no longer feeling as lost and wander-y as this last year or so. The other day I expressed something to a friend that I’m not quite sure is true, pretty sure I was wallowing in a moment of self-pity that I need to deal with, there are some thinking days ahead for sure.
Do you ever do that? Fell sorry for yourself for where you are in this moment because you think you should be someplace else, and in that someplace else you would be wildly happy, and spiritually satisfied? This is something that comes up a lot. Perhaps I struggle with living in the Now. Perhaps there is a little bit of an, “I deserve this right now” that lives in my heart. Yeah, pretty much a normal human being, who longs to accept God’s love wholly in my life. St. Peter came to mind this morning it took an awful lot Peter to give himself fully over to the Love of the Lord. He walked on water, then started drowning; he said he’d never deny the Lord, then he denied Jesus three times; Peter gave his opinions freely, then learned to listen intently.
I’m game to see where the quilting is going. I’m game to see where God is leading. I’m game to learn to live now rather than in a desired future or over-thinking the past giving more consideration to the “I should have done this or that”.
May you experience the Joy of the Lord,
Teri
Requiem in Pace Joy, 1936 – 2010
A Quilter's Heart 