Often when I write posts they are a result of on-going internal processing and prayer. I wake up hearing a song and the end result is a reflective post on that song. “Oceans” along with Journey (word of the year) being frequent themes for 2015. Both are a recognition of something deeper stirring. I don’t know exactly where I’m going but I’m, hopefully, moving forward. Hopefully I’m digging deeply into the Trust that “Oceans” speaks. Hopefully, as we begin this Jubilee of Mercy, I did deep into Mercy. After reading “The Ragamuffin Gospel” I’m reminded that Mercy is an essential component and the complement to Justice. We don’t always get what we deserve, Thank God for that!
What prompted this post, however, are the titles of posts in my drafts folder. These were/are reactionary responses to things I see on-line and in person. “I’m better than you are” is a direct response to some private messaging with someone. This was the impression I was left with during this conversation. I’m still unsettled by it from the perspectives of “I wasn’t expecting this kind of stuff from this person” and “I’m sure I’ve done that before” and “I’m sure I’ve done that to others and wow is my heart to others and I’m so sorry”.
The other is “Original Nakedness” that will eventually be published so I’m going to leave that there for now.
Over the last few days I’ve had some serious thinking and praying time. Part of that time happened on the Deegan (one of our local highways). On a bill board is this giant word, “GRATITUDE”. And so, in tears in that moment, I just started praying the things for which I’m grateful. Even some things I’m struggling to be grateful for. I know it’s okay to struggle to be grateful, it’s a level of honesty with myself and God, an intimacy that is necessary.
And, like the Drafts, I’m a work in progress. I’m not done. I’m still working on discovering the person I’m meant to be. I still wander hither and yon. I’m grateful that God will always allow me to come back home. He’ll allow me to experience things deeply and profoundly. These things help me be the person He wants. A better person, kinder, grateful and in my quilting world a teacher and a mentor.
Here’s to being a Draft, a work in progress, with something to learn, places to grow.