“If I’d only known” this or that I may have responded differently to, name situation here _________________________.
I recently watched an episode of a quilting show whose guest was speaking and teaching quilting however, what I learned had nothing to do with quilting. What I learned is more of a reminder than a learning something new.
The person is someone I’ve met, more than once and not exactly had the best experiences with. The person wasn’t horrible or mean, we simply had different view points on different quilterly things. And now, after watching this, I have a better understanding of what was going on behind the scenes. And had I known this not only would I have responded differently I would have handled things differently.
Shortly after finishing the video I chatted with a friend…”let mercy lead” as we don’t often know what might be dwelling right behind the facade of a person. Using myself as the best example the level of sensitivity that lives within is much more than one might expect. There are reminders that I shouldn’t care what others think of me, that it’s their business not mine. But the heart/brain doesn’t quite work that way. The heart/brain holds onto these comments, sometimes adopting them as truth and responding to that truth in ways that I feel less than as a person, as a quilter, as a quilting teacher. The flip side of that sensitivity means that in classes I will respond with making changes for an individual student or small group of students. I’m sure this has led to not the best evaluations as I work with students who are obviously struggling and not so much with others.
Mercy and compassion. Letting mercy lead, leaves room for others to make mistakes or for whatever ickiness rests behind the facade to be there without judgement from me. Leading with mercy and compassion means that I can exercise the sensitivity that God gave me with generosity towards others. It also means that I can learn to accept that I’m not the right teacher for everyone, that I may come across as unprofessional to others, and that I may come off as b*tchy to others.
I’m going to try my best, with God’s grace, with the prompting of the Holy Spirit to continue to develop that sensitivity to the needs of others in my classroom and in life. I’m going to be grateful to friends who will allow me to complain/express hurt. We have these conversations behind the scenes, where nobody can hear us. We can comfort, offer insight, or commiserate.
As I grow into this it is my prayer to be kind, compassionate, caring, merciful. Letting mercy lead with others and with myself.
The reminders of the quilting video will remain with me for a long time.