When we look critically at the many thoughts and feelings that fill our minds and hearts, we may come to the horrifying discovery that we often choose death instead of life, curse instead of blessing. Jealousy, envy, anger, resentment, greed, lust, vindictiveness, revenge, hatred … they all float in that large reservoir of our inner life. Often we take them for granted and allow them to be there and do their destructive work.
But God asks us to choose life and to choose blessing. This choice requires an immense inner discipline. It requires a great attentiveness to the death-forces within us and a great commitment to let the forces of life come to dominate our thoughts and feelings. We cannot always do this alone; often we need a caring guide or a loving community to support us. But it is important that we both make the inner effort and seek the support we need from others to help us choose life. – Henri Nouwen
“Beautiful Things” Gungor
All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us
Thinking days are often good things. Partly because other creative pursuits, i.e. knitting and crochet, get accomplished. Earlier this week I spent an impromptu afternoon with someone I find very dear.
I sat at the desktop yesterday pretty much having a meltdown, getting frustrated for oh so many reasons. My creative side needs to be nurtured, receiving little care over the last few months. Add that to having a frustrating time figuring out something that I needed to, realizing I needed help and not quite sure how to figure that out or where to get it. There was a piece of information I needed, and eventually got, with that now I can get more help. Another person gave the help that was needed and I’m grateful for that. But I’m still going to take steps to learn more so I can understand what I need to know or at least know the steps to take, if that makes sense.
In part of that meltdown moment I was feeling pretty stupid. Yes, yes, I know feelings are fleeting. I told myself how stupid I was. Not.Good! Because I know that I’m not stupid. What started going through my brain? What would I say to my students and customers when they say something like that to me? “You’re not stupid, you’re inexperienced, there’s a big difference.” And there is a huge difference. So the teacher voice kicked in and I changed my thought process. I asked for help from a couple of difference sources. And eventually learned that the solution was much simpler than originally thought. Rather than banging my head on the nearest wall I went further and have a couple of “assignments” to complete this week including doing the solution.
I got to thinking then too…thinking about quilting…thinking about how sometimes I get so comfortable quilting that I’ll forget to keep checking the back of the quilt to make sure my tension is balanced and I’m not speeding (creating eyelashes). While I embrace the seam ripper wholeheartedly I don’t like to use it. When I stop paying attention to the little details, forget the little details just the details, things have the potential to go haywire. Just because things go haywire doesn’t mean I have to toss them aside. I can fix them or use them a different way. Having the opportunity start over is priceless.
The potential for beauty still exists, the potential for good still exists, the potential still exists. I need to take the opportunity to pursue that potential, often this means just not giving up.
God makes beauty out of heartache and pain, I get to participate in that beauty in the quilts I get to make, the patterns I edit, the work I do, no matter what I’m doing. Heartache happens. Sometimes through our own fault, sometimes through the fault of those around us. No matter the “fault” it’s important to take stock to see if in some way I am contributing to the heartache through my own thought process. Am I over thinking? Am I presuming? Am I assuming? Have my words caused hurt intentionally or unintentionally? Is there some way to make it right? Sometimes there’s not. Either way, there’s some great beauty that happens. I may not see it right now. It’s kind of like looking at a Monet or Manet from 6″ away – it’s a hot mess. Further back we get to see the beauty before us.
Look for the beauty. Look for the peace. Look for the good. Look for the holy in the mess.
God bless!
Teri
A Quilter's Heart 