Intimacy.
Language is fascinating. Words have meaning and many words have more than one meaning. When we look back at the etymology (origin and original meaning) it is something other than its current usage. The WORD though is the same through all eternity. How utterly unfathomable is this, and yet it is precisely this WORD we seek to know ever more deeply in our being.
A friend introduced me to the writings of St Elizabeth of the Trinity and we are currently “on retreat” with these writings through Discerning Hearts with Dr Anthony Lilles. This is a link to the series of published videos. The reflections are a delight in how they bring to a place of pondering the wonders of God, his infinite LOVE for us and his calling into deeper relationship, sweeter intimacy with Him. There is always a deeper place of my heart to meet the Lord. In and through this retreat my word of the year, surrender, comes up. And much like intimacy, there is more than one meaning of the word. As I ponder through this retreat surrender and intimacy blend into one another, reflecting more of the longing of heart in the relationship with LOVE.
Often when I listen to the podcast or read from the book I’m drawn to a particular line to spend time with. While the podcast is still playing my heart will wander with that word or line and I need to gently bring attention back. The pondering is such a delight. And the places of surrender are the places of hurt, need, disorder, these are the places Jesus desires for me to let him in. And these are the places I need Him and resist Jesus most. Oh delicious irony. Oh painful irony.
Years ago it would be quite easy to go to the sewing room, quilt under the machine and quilt for hours. Getting so totally lost in the quilting that my Sweetie would scare me. I know that was neither his desire nor intent. I miss that sense of being so totally lost in the quilting, that even now I yearn for that. Yet, there is some resistance on my part. I’m reminded that while not all who wander are lost while I’m not lost there is a sense of being adrift while something shifts. I am reminded too that being present to the needs of home is as important as the desire to live a life as an itinerant quilting teacher and speaker. While I love that and desire more teaching and speaking, there is a deeper sense of needing to be here. Be here. Oh to be fully present here, with joy and the attention this place deserves.
And while typing this morning I had an idea for a quilt series. Must go flesh this out.
God bless,
Teri
A Quilter's Heart 