My Sweetie and will celebrate 33 years of marriage in the fall. I cannot help but be encouraged that this year is a Jubilee of Hope, for this is what marriage is, an act of hope, an act in hope. It would be very easy to write all the typical cliche’s on how the years unfolded, speaking of the ups and downs, highs and lows, and how marriage is a journey. There is merit to this style of speaking, as it is a common point of reference. We all get it.
For better, for worse
For richer, for poorer,
In sickness and in health
To love, honor, and obey*
Til death do we part
Right after we received vows from one another and sat for the next part of the Mass something in me changed. Later when talking to my Sweetie he expressed the same experience. We were, we are no longer the same. Both of us have said that our marriage cannot be annulled for this reason. We were in that moment open to the Grace of God working in and through one another to bring us to heaven. We continue to experience God’s Grace operating in and through one another and together as a couple.
*In our current culture the tendency is to leave out the word and concept of obey for there is a deep misunderstanding of the meaning and intent of the word. After reading Mulieris Dignatatem (On the Dignity and Vocation of Women) I took a moment and went back to him and offered it to him.
c. 1300, obeien, “carry out the commands of (someone); submit to (a command, rule, etc.); be ruled by,” from Old French obeir “obey, be obedient, do one’s duty” (12c.), from Latin obedire, oboedire “obey, be subject, serve; pay attention to, give ear,” literally “listen to,” from ob “to” (see ob-) + audire “listen, hear” (from PIE root *au- “to perceive”).
– from https://www.etymonline.com/word/obey
When I realized it didn’t mean things like subservient, less than, or anything in that vein, and that he has the greater obligation in the relationship, to lay his life down for me in a way that is similar to Christ Jesus laid his life down for the Church (all of humanity) this became easy. By this time my Experience of being in relationship with him was (and remains) one of being honored, respected, listened to and deeply encouraged.
Of late he’s been pointing out some things that I know that paying attention to is important. One is saying, “yes” to a lot of really good things to be about. Oof that one hit home and I needed to sit with it for a bit. One thing I’ve taken on I am making a deadline to move onto another place and be a fill in when necessary. There is another thing that, while I love it and, in some ways, need it will be moving off the to-do list, to give time and space for preparation for teaching. And then in looking at all of this he is also asking me to take care of my physical body and so later this afternoon I’m heading to the gym. I stopped going in part because there’s a creepy guy and in part because I was gaining weight – both of which were really irritating. Part of the encouragement is reminding me how much I was enjoying going, because I was.
And then there’s the quilting.
Can I just tell you how much I’m enjoying this as well? I love the delightful surprises I’m seeing as I stitch. He encourages quilting as much as he encourages me to look at the good things I am adding to the to-do list.
May you say yes to where and how the Lord is calling you.
Teri
A Quilter's Heart 