Dandelions are a favorite flower of mine. I love the delightful yellow, the hardiness of the plant itself and that it is edible when left chemically untreated. I love making my husband crazy by not letting him pull them up and leaving them as food for the bees. I have fond childhood memories of these flowers gone to seed, picking them and blowing wishes off into the universe. At this point in my life I have zero recall of what wishes went out on said dandelion manes yet the memory of holding freshly picked stems in my small hands and blowing with all my might remains.
The sheer delight of this memory (these memories) fills my being and brings a smile to my face. For here it is where I’m reminded of the core of who I am – a beloved daughter of God who delights in dandelions.
Prayer started this morning with, “Father what am I avoiding or resisting?” I realized that I’m not so much resisting or avoiding as much as I am proceeding with care. Oh I liked this much better than resisting and this description made much more sense as I continued pondering in prayer. Creative brain kind of took a wander through a wildflower field, with childlike wonder and curiosity enjoying the sweet fruit of their temporary existence. Enjoying the translucence of some flower petals, the fragrance of others, the bees flitting about gathering pollen to make honey.
This prayer led me to look at this sense of curiosity and wonder. At first, I wondered about a thought that’s been living rent free in my head for a couple of weeks. Recognizing that this thought is telling me something and to listen. In the listening I realized that specifically here I was appropriating someone else’s feelings, and these were taking me to a place of fear and loss. And with that I blew that right out of my head.
As I continue in this prayerful moment a clearer understanding of the why I desire to pursue something became clear. And this is both for me, and for others. It is much like pursuing formation as a spiritual director, it is for me, and for others all in the same moment. This led me to the reminder that I have a presentation in the works and there is need to add a couple of things before I pursue recording the presentation.
There is great delight in how all of this was brought into greater focus after reading about five paragraphs in Brya Hanan’s new book:
I am reading this with two purposes in mind: 1) myself because of course there’s stuff and 2) for directees as needed. For clarity I’d recognized before I opened the book this morning that what I was feeling in this thought process wasn’t mine and it is time to let that stuff go.
Then there’s the whole bringing together in prayer that my word of the year, Surrender, and Trust are actually the same thing.
In September I’m offering a one-day retreat at our local retreat center. More on that soon.
You are so loved!
Teri
A Quilter's Heart 