Leticia Ochoa Adams posted a link to the Last Day podcast on Wednesday September 20, Your worst day isn’t your only day. (<—– direct link to podcast here or below, either way)
There are a couple of things to know before listening first, Leticia and Stephanie Wittles Wachs discuss the suicide of Leticia’s son, Anthony, and there’s some swearing. This podcast is well worth listening to, to hear some serious truth of Faith, and Love and suicide and grief lived, and how people treat each other. I’d love to have more words, sharing with you the things that spoke deeply, however it is more important to listen.
This is also a great time to head over to Ave Maria Press and get Leticia’s book Our Lady of Hot Messes. This is a 100% recommendation, not that it’ll change your life, rather this, the podcast point us in the direction of brutal honesty with God and perhaps then with ourselves.
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More than once my spiritual director has said to me, the only way is through. I’d love to say, “can confirm” and that the through leads to the hippy dippy, pie in the sky, la la la life is sweetly happy, life is perfectly in order and I’m super strong, tied up in a pretty bow kind of happiness that it feels like we desire and read about in a lot of children’s movies, current books, or see on the social media. Through is right. Through to the other side doesn’t mean what we think it means. Going through ends up meaning something else. Healing doesn’t mean the scars or memories go away, it changes and morphs and integrates into our being in a way that is acknowledged. accepted. Lazarus still experienced bodily death, and Jesus didn’t lose his scars during His resurrection or ascension.
Over and again in conversation with friends, prayer, spiritual direction, pondering and preparing for Reconciliation memories bubble up to the surface for me to look at, acknowledge, and bring to God for a deeper conversation, flipping the script (conversion), looking for what’s going on under the surface. Some are moments are of abuse or abandonment, some are moments of seeming thoughtless conversation (me or someone else) that are in need of me actually looking, walking through to forgiveness and healing. I’m recognizing more and more that these places of deep encounter with Jesus, wherein I need to remind myself that I’ve forgiven, that need forgiveness of another person, or where there is need for me to forgive myself for taking on something that isn’t mine. This last one is difficult as it requires some self reflection wherein I look for the places where my responsibility ends and where I took responsibility that wasn’t mine to take. Sometimes these are reminders that the work on that life experience is complete and that while there is still an ache in my heart I do not need to dwell here.
It is fall allergy season and I keep pausing deal with the symptoms. They aren’t as bad as last year and I’m hoping to not get another sinus infection.
In getting ready for the ISD (Institute of Spiritual Direction) in a couple of weeks I’ve finished and am working my way slowly through the first book again. And I’ve started reading the second book Prayer Our Deepest Longing by Ron Rolheiser. There is a line in there that knocked my socks off. It has to do with the understanding of perfection and how this is lived out.
I see Leticia living out this way of perfection. It is the way of perfection I’d love to live out.
May you know how much you are loved.
God bless,
Teri
A Quilter's Heart 